The Sacred Heart of Helen

More reasons to leave South Africa........

2006-07-19T10:36:00.000Z

1) I ate my own body weight in highly salted, barbeque'd meat at the weekend. My digestive system is confused.
2) After six months of driving on SA roads I still manage to find every pothole going and test my tyres on it.
3) I have grown a grey hair that sticks STRAIGHT up from my head.
4) I keep on tossing and turning at night thinking about all the things that I have to at work. When I get here I can't remember what they were.
5) I want to kill my regional manager

How to protect your employees from violent crime

2006-07-12T07:45:00.000Z

Last night everyone in Mthatha seemed to be preoccupied with crime. Its in the press a lot at the moment and the government are supposed to be coming up with new ways of tackling it.
My evening started with my landlady and her friend ranting about how its not fair that you can be charged with beating the crap out of someone who (you think) has committed a crime against you.
Then I went to the golf club with Kenny where we met up with a couple of other people. Once again the conversation turned to crime. Gary told a story about someone who works for him being mugged on payday (the incident involved the tip of the victim's thumb being bitten off- eugh)
Kenny listened to the story carefully and then made his point "That's exactly why we don't pay our staff on a regular basis......."*
If only more South African employers had thought of that!

* I'm sure Kenny was going to end with an explanation of exactly when the staff get paid but he didn't get the chance to.

Like the littlest hobo......

2006-07-11T06:49:00.000Z

This is my charming landlord's motorbike. He took me for a ride on it on Sunday! (Check out the registration plate)

I went to Coffee Bay on Saturday for a drumming festival. I got scared by the dirty tranced out backpackers and decided to play pool at the local hotel instead. Coffee Bay is very pretty:

Now this is a real test to see who actually reads my blog!
I have an announcement to make....................................................
I'm coming home!!!! (to stay)
I have decided that it's time to admit defeat and throw in the towel. Whilst I'm not completely miserable here, nor am I happy. The work that I'm doing here is very office based and I really don't feel that I'm doing a good job of it. They are going to replace me with someone from within the the team here which makes me feel as if I've been depriving a South African of a job all along!
So, if things go according to plan, I'll be back to stay on 12th August. Whoop whoop and hurrah!

Pleased be warned: although I have given up early I have still become a serious do-gooder. I shall be living my life by the following rules:
No alcohol shall pass my lips
I shall wear tie-dye and/or hessian at all times
I will speak with a slightly odd accent in a patronising tone.
I shall refuse to pay for anything that isn't "for a good cause" but will take anything I can get for free (no change there).
I will fill my house with African tat
I will wear sandals in all weathers.
I WILL bore everyone with "When I was in South Africa" stories
I will ALWAYS have the moral high ground

2006-07-05T12:41:00.000Z

Is he dead or alive?

My first circumcision party

2006-07-04T09:19:00.000Z

Last weekend I went to my first ever circumcision party at the house of the local HIV/AIDS co-ordinator. Her son is 18 and has just completed his initiation. This is a traditional ceremony which is the rite of passage to becoming a Xhosa man. I tried to be open minded about the process before I went but now I think it may be wrong!

Groups of boys and young men go off to live in the bush where they have their foreskin removed by someone who is not medically qualified. In theory boys are supposed to be checked over by a doctor and get their parents consent before they go.
I'm not sure exactly what happens in the bush but 8 boys have died in Eastern Cape in the past 3 weeks. Scary.
Anyways, NoXholisoi's son survived (not completely) intact so there was a big party.
Gifts were given to mother and son and there was much eating, drinking and dancing. Serious amounts of meat were eaten. A cow and a sheep were slaughtered before hand and there was another sheep lined up ready to go .

A week of much brain churning........

2006-06-27T09:40:00.000Z

Last week I visited a school who are working with British teachers to write a play about HIV/AIDS. The play is in English- I'm not sure that the young people understand the script very well! The girls pictured above are the evil henchmen of Aids Man (below). They get the villagers of Ntafufu drunk and give them HIV (represented by the ribbons).
The only way that the villagers can protect themselves from the virus is by abstaining (the preferred method of the Department of Education) or wrapping themselves in a big white sheet that is doled out by Condom Man and his helpers (pictured below). Obviously the guy in the black mask shaking his fists is a baddy!

The kids were great, particularly when it came to singing and dancing. The British teacher working with them couldn't get over how obedient and keen they were. Obviously her first experience of South African children! I've sat through entire days of training where children don't speak, serve all the adults with food before they eat and carry everything for their teachers. Being a child in rural South Africa isn't much fun........

Apart form that my week was very dull. I was collecting and organising data for a meeting that didn't happen.....I amused myself by having a HUGE stress about whether I am doing the right thing by being here! I think I've decided in favour of staying, but I seem to be the queen of faff at the moment! The things that make me want to leave are:
Missing people
I think a South African could do my job
Office Politics
Politics in general ie the horrible racism and associated segregation that still exists here- it gets me down.

But:
I want to make a good go of this
I can really see the need for the work when I go out into the rural areas.
The coastline near here is really beautiful.
I have no idea what I would do if I went home! (Suggestions welcome)

Thank you to everyone who has been on the receiving end of my ranting so far.

Oh! News flash: Brownie (my furry companion of 26 years) stowed away in my washing last week. He seems be ok. I think his eyes look a bit glazed. Does that mean he's dead?? Maybe he hates it here and deliberately took his own life..........

The Sarnie Passes

2006-06-20T06:34:00.000Z

Greetings blog readers! It seems that my head has grown and y arms have got more stick like in the past few months. Not a result I'd expect from the high protein diet (kind of like the Atkins Diet) that I am now eating. Last week was fairly peaceful. Three colleagues including the manager are in the UK at the moment. I went to observe some training that didn't happen due to poor attendance . That was slightly disappointing after a 3 hour drive starting at 6 in the morning. However, I did get to chat to some of the teachers who are taking part in the programme. Its frustrating because none of them seem to know what they should be doing (ie creating HIV/AIDS policies and action plans). They decided to go off and sort themselves out a bit before the next workshop......
I'm currently trying to work out the best way of evaluating the project, but there don't seem to be any clear aims and objectives. More than slightly frustrating..........
Last weekend was a long weekend due to "Youth Day" on Friday. This is to mark the 1976 youth uprisings when lots of people (around 700) were killed by the cruelty men (the police). They were protesting about being taught in Afrikans rather than their mother tongue. All quite scarey.
Anyway, I went to Underberg which is by the mountains bordering Lesotho. I met up with Rachel who is a volunteer working in Durban. She is lovely, but talks about work A LOT!
On Saturday we went up the Sani (pronounced Sarnie) Pass into Lesotho. The road is terrible- you have to go in a 4x4. We went on an organised toour. It was quite entertaining watching all the wealthy white South Africans showing complete inability to drive their very expensive cars properly.

What we saw of Lesotho was pretty depressing. We went and visited a village where we sat in a hut. The homeowner lady gave us some (nice) bread and some (horrible) beer. All the children of the village appeared to pose for photo's and then fought to look at their pictures (that's why Rachel is wrestling with several small children.)

That's all really. I should go and do some work!

Randomness

2006-06-15T12:15:00.000Z

This is my favourite nightspot in Mthatha so far: it's fairly mixed (black, white and coloured), it has an open fire and it's really tacky. It's part of a water park- don't fancy swimming in any of the water, but the beer is fine...... The people are Barbara, Kenny's Dad (in the background) Me and Kenny
I took these pictures! Check out the reflection of the moon! The random shack is infact a public phone box that I saw on my way to a school yesterday.

I think I'm becoming assimilated......

2006-06-12T08:18:00.000Z

I've just been reading Marv and Big Dan's blogs. I realise that I'm not very good at writing. Thank you for reading this - I'll make for effort to post more pictures in future.

Anyway, I am worried that I've spent too much time with white South African's and I'm losing the will to fight. These are the reasons that I am worried:
1) I am starting to like Kenny's Mum (she of the comments about "Pakki's" in the UK). I am ashamed to say that I touched her shoulder affectionately the other day.
2) The helper where I stay has now cleaned my room twice - I was determined that was NEVER going to happen when I first got here. I do give her extra money and presents for doing it. (Incidentally we have a stand-in helper at the moment who is called "Wishbone". Why????)
3) I have started saying "Shame", which is really insincere white South African way of expressing empathy/sympathy.
4) I noticed a hole in my top yesterday - my initial though was that the helper must have done something to it when she was washing it. Then I remembered that its about 5 years old and I've never washed it according to the instructions.
5) I ate roast pork yesterday (and choked on the crackling - that is my punishment)
4) I have been at the coast with some of Kenny's friends this weekend. Their helper has a ridiculous maid's outfit.....when I think about it, that still bother's me. It's bad enough to have someone waiting on without making them look really stupid aswell. Why not just buy the poor woman an outfit that she can use for other occaisions as well as picking up your crap.
...........Oh good, I seem to be talking myself out of this! I can't think of any other reasons. And when I think about it Kenny's Mum does give me food- it's very difficult to dislike someone who gives you Malva Pudding.....I will keep up the good fight though.

I am going to try to spend more time with my work colleagues, but in the mean time fellow politically correct Brits please pull me back into line if I get offensive.
Will post more info about my weekend soon.....

Tourist photo's

2006-06-06T11:34:00.000Z

I finally got around to taking some pictures that will give y'all a chance to see the kind of area that I'm working in. These photo's were taken at a school in Mount Fletcher, about 2 hours north of here. The school is taking part in the programme that I co-ordinate and is also hosting a teacher from the UK for 5 weeks in July/August. It's about 1/2 hour down an dirt road. There are 342 learners aged 6-14 using about 5 classrooms!

The children were very bemused to see a white woman. They all gathered round me and stared but barely smiled or spoke until I got my camera out. As you can see they then fought to get into a photo.

We visited the home where the teacher will be staying- here's the view from her room to be:

Everything is incredibly dry at the moment. Summer is the rainy season. If things are this dry now I dread to think what they're going to be like by August. When I arrived and everything was so green I couldn't understand why people complained about malnutrition and poor access to water- it all becomes clear now!

I've run out of lunch hour and got bored of trying to get things in the right place. Sorry!

At the seaside

2006-05-30T05:40:00.000Z

Last week at work was fairly non-eventful. I had been hoping to get out an observe some training but various events conspired against me. I spent the week in the company of my laptop messing around with figures. We also had a big delivery of resource manuals for my programme. That was quite exciting!
So, after moping for a lot of last week I was lucky to be visited by a VSO friend and have the opportunity to go to Kenny's place at the coast. The house is second from the left, it's about 1 1/2 hours from Mthatha off the tar road.
We arrived in the dark so as you can imagine I had a really lovely surprise in the morning.
There are only about 5 'houses' used as holiday homes and then rondavels where the locals live. It's obviously a very poor area, but didn't seem as desperate as other places I've been.
We spent most of the weekend lounging around. It was all a bit weird cos Kenny is a complete hedonist (people kept on appearing to offer us various locally produced mind altering substances) and Rachel doesn't drink or smoke. I guess it was nice not to be the most sober person around for once!
This (on the right) is the path down to the beach. I was trying to take pictures of surfers for Monkey - I'm afraid this is the closest to an action shot that I could get!
Those of you that I have moaned to recently will be glad to hear that I'm feeling better. Thank you for listening/reading!

This is an odd place.....

2006-05-25T11:31:00.000Z

So, I’ve been sitting on my bed for some time trying to think about what to write for this entry. I flicked through my photo’s and began to realise how truly surreal my life is. I know extremes between wealth and poverty exist everywhere, and that completely different cultures can exist close together.
However, within the space of a couple of weeks I have attended a wedding like this:

I’ve been drinking in a place like this:

Where the ladies’ toilet looks like this:

I’ve been dancing here:

And I’ve stayed in a B&B like this:

I'm not sure that these pictures really sum up the contrast - you also have to bear in mind that there are people living in tin shacks within half a mile of my place.

I think I’m a flexible and open-minded person, and I consider myelf quite well travelled. I just can’t work out how all this fits together.

At the moment my social life is dependant on white people. They can drink and they can moan like nothing I have ever witnessed before. I find the moaning very hard work.

My work colleagues who are all black apart from my regional manager are very dedicated to turning things around in this area.

You don’t see racially mixed groups of people hanging around socially.

I can’t speak for the rest of South Africa but Mthatha is a very odd place

The wanderer returns (to Mthatha)

2006-05-16T11:37:00.000Z

Sorry! I haven’t been sold into the white slave trade or whisked of to marry an African prince. My Bank Holiday weekend was pretty uneventful so it’s probably just as well that I didn’t subject you all to that. However, I did attend a crazy huge and very smart wedding. That was fun!

Since my birthday (which was on the 5th) I’ve been travelling to Cape Town and back. I got the overnight bus down which was very uneventful. It was a fairly comfy National Express style coach.

Whilst waiting for the hotel room to be ready I found a café that was FULL of (ironic) Jesus tat. I’m gutted that I forgot to take my camera back to take a pic.

The hotel was very nice. I celebrated my birthday by having a Pretty Woman style bath (deep with lots of bubbles, no Richard Gere). I then picked up the hire car and headed of to the airport to collect Lins. I was VERY excited. Particularly after I had waited 5 HOURS for Lins to extricate herself from some kind of shenanigans in the Central African Republic.

We went back to the hotel and I opened my lovely presents. Thank you so much everyone. If I were shallow enough to judge my friends and family by the quality and thoughtfulness of their gifts I would think you truly wonderful (which I do anyway). I’m sorry that I haven’t given you all proper thanks yet.

We spent the weekend in Cape Town, which was lovely but a little damp and it was VERY cold at the top of Table Mountain. I won’t bore you with all the details of week (plus I want to go to sleep).

High points:
Seeing my lovely cousin.
All my lovely birthday texts, calls and emails.
Lovely seafood.
Singing Allouette (excuse the spelling) to an (mainly French) audience in exchange for half price tequila.
My new dress – thank you Bonky.
Durbanville Sauvignon Blanc.
Driving through beautiful scenery.
A bar COMPLETELY FULL of two-stepping couples.
Penguins on the beach

Low points:

Scary bird that landed on Lindsay’s leg at Port Saint Johns.
Missing everybody on my birthday (and every other day).
Saying “Goodbye” to Lins.

More pictures while I'm on a roll

2006-04-22T11:49:00.000Z

Ha ha! I'm insane. This was on my first day in SA. I was trying to look like a nun to replace the existing sacred heart picture on my blog.

I like it when other people put food on their blogs. This is roast butternut squash, beetroot and onions with garlic sausage flavoured (soya based) polony.
Coffee Bay
Coffee bay

National Office Politics Week

2006-04-22T10:04:00.000Z

In South Africa there are a lot of public holidays. It seems that this week just gone (to fit between the Easter holiday and Freedom Day) was National Office Politics Week. Nobody warned me and it wasn't listed in my SEX IS EVIL diary.
I am not going to go into details but I have had run-ins with two seperate managers, one of them resulting in tears (on my part unfortunately). I have found myself in the middle of some very complicated bitching and backstabbing and I'm struggling to establish who (if anyone) is in the right. Today I want to go home.

However, on a positive note, I have (fairly) successfully organised and chaired 2 meetings with several HIV and AIDS co-ordinators.

I had a lovely weekend in Durban last weekend. As usual, I am trying to upload pictures for you, but it's being really slow.
I drove to up on Good Friday with last weeks new best friend (actually she lasted more than a week as I was at Coffee Bay with her the week before). I think we were stopped 4 times by the police in a 5 hour journey. Once they checked us for pork (!) and the other times they wanted to check my license. I was also caught speeding (only ever so slightly), but they let me off without me and I didn't even have to offer them so much as a sweet. Phew, I'm bored of typing now. I'm going to make a list of high points and low points.
Low points:
Apartheid museum (dull apart from some very nice photo's of Townships in the 60's)
Gandhi's Ashram (couldn't find it)
Victoria Embankment (couldn't find it)
Sharing a dorm room with some VERY LOUD SNORERS (pictured above).
The drive back took 7 1/2 hours in the pouring rain, loads of trucks and a running death count on the radio 124 by the end of the day).

High points:

Curry (hurrah, hurrah!)
Bunny chow (curry in a hollowed out white loaf of bread)
Chip, bean and chilli roti (big as your arm and delicious)
Beaches
Having a drink in a proper bar
Spending time with other VSO's.
I came back really motivated about work, although the events of this week have dampened this somewhat!
I came back more motivated about my work

This weekend should be fairly quiet. I went out for drinks last night which was good fun. Although, as always when I spend much time with white South Africans, I am astounded by the attitudes of some of them. Last night I heard a guy comment that somebody is "a waste of white skin". Interesting!
I might go and watch stock car racing later. I had been invited to go to the celebration of Nzwangi's brothers, mother-in-law's celebration of taking off her mourning clothes. Nzwangi hasn't been in touch today though. I'm afraid I wasn't able to work up much enthusiasum at the end of yesterday... . .

I'm off now.

South African conversaton starters

2006-04-13T13:16:00.000Z

Last weekend I went to Coffee Bay with a couple of work colleagues and a Scottish teacher who is visiting the organisation at the moment. It was wet and not very warm. With true British spirit Sheena and I dragged Smally and Neli on a walk. In true British style we got very wet.......
It was nice to have a day out though! It was very pretty.
Coffee Bay is apparently so called because a wrecked boat once emptied loads of coffee onto the beach. No sign now though. Its about an hour's drive from Mthatha (1 1/2 to 2 hours if I'm driving, which I did).
On Sunday I spent several hours on the internet searching out birthday presents for Lins, Mum and Mikey. Happy Birthday everyone - I hope the gifts made it ok.
This week has been a frantic one. The big boss has been visiting from Jo'burg. He had a meeting with my manager then asked to have a a chat with me later. I spent the next few hours convinced that I was going to get a bollucking. Turns out that they want me to take on more responsibility. I was so relieved that I said yes.
I've got two meetings with district officials next week that I'm very worried about. Meetings here are very structured - there is little scope for my scatter brained (yet creative) chairing style. You also have to start and finish with a prayer. I won't be taking responsibility for that! The ones that everyone else comes up with are far more impressive that anything I could ever aspire to!
Last night I had a nice dinner with Smally, Sheena and Siphiwo. We went to Ebony which is the poshest restaurant in town! (about 6.50 for a main course). All the windows were open but the guests were given blankets to put over their knees/shoulders. I don't get it! Smally says that she is gong to make sure she gets a front seat at church today so that she can get her feet washed by the bishop.
Afterwards I went and joined the whites at a Rotary Club Steak Dinner. Everyone was very drunk by the time I got there (about 9pm). Here are some of the fantastic conversation starters that these drunkards came up with:
"So, what do you do with yourself apart from perm your hair?" - This came from a balding ginger.
"Did you expect to see lions and tigers in Mthatha?" - Random drunk man
(Incredulously) "Are you chewing gum? Have you ever been to the bank in Mthatha? All they do in the queue is spit and snort, spit and snort!" (What??!!)
We have a half day today because Nzwangi had the foresight to ask. I have sat late at work every night this week for various reasons. Today when I can go home early I have stayed behind!
Driving to Durban tomorrow. Hurrah, hurrah!
I'm sorry, I've been trying to upload pictures while I'm typing but it's not happening - you'll have to just read.

Random pics

2006-04-04T11:05:00.000Z

This is a lovley monkey at Port St John's - check out his genitalia!
This is "Second Beach" at Port Saint Johns - the dudes in white are on their way home after a baptism in the sea

Here are some sunbathing cows!! They're just along the coast from PSJ

Topless teenagers, Two stepping lovelies and discovering a new dish…….

2006-04-03T08:33:00.000Z

Last Saturday was a good day:
I discovered that Pilchard and Beans (or chakalaka) makes a very good breakfast, especially when its with rice, pumpkin and sautéed cabbage. Yum! (While we’re on the subject of food, samp is a staple food around here. It’s made from boiled and mushed maize. Good if you like starch. I’ve only ever seen it mixed with white beans)

I went to a cultural festival at Port St Johns with one of my colleagues. We watched lots of singing and dancing. It was great, but slightly marred by my concern about the girls leaping around with no tops on. I found myself clutching my boobs in sympathy as I watched.

The craft stalls were very good. I bought a new handbag and was very tempted by a necklace and some fabric with Nelson Mandela’s face printed all over it.

We had seafood pizza at a backpackers place on the sea front. Lovely (if a little over cheesed!)

In the evening another colleague invited me to accompany her to the Rotary Club Dinner Dance. This was held at in a primary school in town. It used to be a white only school so it’s fairly smart.

We were seated at an African themed table. Rotary wives had taken responsibility for decorating the tables (there were prizes!). I’m afraid to say that ours was one of the least glamorous. There were some tables with huge candles and jewels and everything. One wife had paid for someone to design the table.

There was lots of cheap wine and a disco so needless to say, I had a great night. It was interesting to watch the dynamics of the dance floor. There were two Afrikaner couples who did this amazing two-step dancing around the floor regardless of what music was playing. Black people seemed to opt more for “Wigfield” style dancing and the remaining white people did what I call normal dancing. The Afrikaners also had great (not fancy dress) outfits - men in chino shorts and women in super eighties dresses. I think my mouth may have been hanging open whilst I was watching this……..

By about 10pm one man at my table had fallen asleep and everyone else was speaking Xhosa so I went and joined a group of younger white people. Drank far too much and danced a lot………..

I went home at about 2.30………………I felt like shit on Sunday.

High points of the week just gone:
Ø I was given a diary engraved with the motto “Abstinence. Sex is not a game, a toy, a weapon”. Wise words to remember kids!!!
Ø Went to visit some schools with my VSO programme manager. One of them was very rural, and very basic but incredibly well motivated when it came to health related work. Super!
Ø Bonus: Because of these visits I missed half of our incredibly arduous Friday meeting.
Ø I received a lovely “care package” from Misty including a copy of Glamour (English women are SEX MAD) and a lovely cd. Thank you!
Ø I felt very homesick on Thursday, but Monkey was SUPER and sorted me out.
Ø On Saturday I had lovely day out at a shopping centre in East London whilst some of my colleagues attended a funeral. I was paid by VSO for the first time this week so I felt I was due a bit of consumerism. I bought a lovely new cardy. I also went to the cinema and watched Tsotsi. Very good, even though I was sitting next to a woman who responded to every scene by saying “Shame”. Peg, I’m afraid the cinema was disappointingly normal……….
Ø On Saturday night I went out with one of the guys I’d met at the Rotary do. He and a friend took me “clubbing” in Mthatha. The first place we went to was like Porthcressa disco without the tourists (disco in the Scilly Isles). Needless to say I felt right at home. The second one was a little bit more moody with lots of grinding going on. I did get to go in the DJ booth though. Whoop!

On the way home we were pulled over by the police because the windscreen was cracked. It turns out the tax disc was also out of date. The driver bribed the police by buying them hamburgers (!)

Ø Today I went PONY RIDING!!!! Hurrah! I invited myself to go along with my landlady’s daughter. Great fun, apart from the inevitable moody pony girls!
Ø I had lush Thai curry for tea – a great end to a good weekend I think.

A life in the day of....

2006-03-26T15:15:00.000Z

So, it’s Friday night, it’s 9 o’clock and I’m sitting o my bed in my pyjama’s (although I'm obviously not in this picture.....). Lifestyles of the young and the glamorous, eh? Well I suppose I’m not either of the afore mentioned.

Well when I look back on this week it’s a blur and I’m going to have to concentrate really hard to think of something to write about…..

At least two people have asked me what I do every day so I could start with that – I’m not sure how exciting I can make it though.

On weekdays I get up at 6.45. I’m finding it remarkably easy to do. I have a cup of tea. I have discovered a very nice brand called Glen (originally I thought it was called Glee, which I think is a very good name for a tea brand). Glen is good and strong; I think the tea lovers in my life (that’s you Monkey and Bert) would love it. I also have bran flakes or toast. Spar branflakes taste salty, I can’t decide if that’s good or not.

I don’t feed any goats or chickens or light any fires before I go to work.

I have a shower (some of you have seen pics of the impressive mirror that it has in it)

I watch the news. BBC world service was on when I first got here. I really liked the idea of knowing what English weather was like before any of you lot woke up. That’s stopped now, so I watch depressing South African news. To liven it up I can watch it in Afrikans or Xhosa.

I leave home at about 7.45. I don’t have a car at the moment. If I time it right I meet with my colleague dropping her son off at nursery around the corner and get a lift. If I’m too early or late I walk. It takes no more that 10 mins. I was very scared of walking at first, but I’ve done it a few times and it’s fine. White South Africans (from my experience) don’t walk anywhere and don’t recommend it to anyone who asks for advice.

So, I walk to work and it’s quite a pleasant experience. I literally walk straight down one road past some houses, past a park and then I’m at work.

I don’t see any cows on my way to work.

Work is in an eighties style office block. I think it may have been quite swishy in Transkei’s heydey but it definitely isn’t now (although it is nicer than either of the Big Issue offices that I’ve worked in). Our office is on the second floor. Monday to Friday it’s usually the administrator, the manager and me in the office. The trainers that I work with are usually “in the field” unless they pop in to do some photocopying.

We have 3 computers, a phone, broadband internet access and a fax machine.
I can see a convent from my office window! Great nun spotting potential!

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been in the office everyday. This means I sit and work on my laptop, wreak havoc with the photocopier every once in a while and try to stop myself from eating my lunch before 10 am. I don’t like spending lots of time in the office.

My job is to co-ordinate a training programme. I’ve put together a couple of spreadsheets for monitoring purposes. I’m actually quite impressed with what I’ve done. I don’t like spreadsheets much.

I have report on what the trainers have been up to (how many people they’ve trained, when and where). That’s ok.

I’ve been quite excited about improving the training programme. I inflicted a “training designing” workshop on my colleagues last week. There were some hairy moments during it but people were positive afterwards.

I like going out and observing the training, although most of it is done in Xhosa, so I don’t understand much. Xhosa lessons start in April. Whoop! I’ll be clicking like a native before you know it!

Back to my day……. Officially lunch is between 1 and 2pm. I try and avoid going out of the office then because the rest of Mthatha is taking their break aswell. I bring lunch with me because I’m tight and because the lunch options aren’t that exciting. There are several fried chicken places – “Grab a chick”, “Rampant Rooster” and good old “KFC” to name but a few, or you can buy mutton or chicken with samp and beans and veg. I quite like the chicken, samp and beans option but it gets dull after a while.

At some point during the day I like to have a walk around town. It’s not scenic (think old Birmingham bullring shortly before it was demolished, without the subways). There’s plenty to look at though. There are lots of women sitting on the pavement selling fruit. They shout something that sounds quite similar to what the Evening Mail vendors in Brum shout. There are also more formal stalls selling fantastic ruffled aprons that form part of women’s traditional dress (prepare yourselves for some grot- tastic presents girls!).

My favourite stands are the ones with a little plastic table with a phone and some sweets on it. I don’t know if you get a free sweet when you make a call or you have to pay separately.

Barbers and hair braiders are often in tents on the pavement. Must keep their overheads low – a ha ha ha!

Work finishes at 4.30. I get a lift home usually. I then dump my stuff and go to the golf course to stretch my legs.

After that I eat a lot and watch tv (which is awful), read, do sudoku or mess around with my laptop. I am also trying to make biscuits in my very basic oven. I keep on burning them!

That’s my life!

Day one!!

2006-03-26T15:12:00.000Z

I found this on my laptop. It seems many moons ago!

Day One – 15th Jan

Well, I’ve made it as far the safety of a Johannesburg guesthouse without coming to any harm. I had a fine send off at the Crown Plaza Hotel at Heathrow (don’t choose this place for lunch on a Saturday). A few tears were shed but I don’t think it was nearly as dramatic as it could have been……
It felt very strange being in an airport without the usual “Whoop, I’m going on holiday” feeling. Instead I was suffering from “Is this really happening??” rumblings.

The flight was fine apart from me being paranoid about passing on the nasty cold that I had to the ENTIRE plane. I spent most of the 10 odd hours furtively sniffing into the three damp tissues that I had stashed for the journey. I think the very proper lady sitting next to me grew to hate me within seconds.

I actually pinched myself when the plane was flying in over Jo’burg. I couldn’t believe that my placement is actually happening. I’m in Africa!

It took about an hour to get through passport control. I walked out of the arrivals gate feeling befuddled and hot to find the waiting crowd to be requiring everything bar a VSO volunteer. I backed up a couple of times in the hope that retracing my steps might make someone appear. No joy. I must have looked really pathetic and lost. A kindly lady offered me the use of her mobile to call the person that I should be meeting. Thing is, I didn’t know who they were or where they were. I flicked through the VSO handbook, but didn’t come up with anything. I decided to try and find someone who would put a tannoy out for me.

As I drifted through the crowd I realised to my great delight that there was another arrivals gate where a couple were standing with a hand written VSO sign. I ran through my extensive knowledge of Lonely Planet warnings in my head…… “Is it a well known scam for people to masquerade as representative of world wide voluntary development agencies to lure unsuspecting volunteers with their lives crammed into a couple of rucksacks into cars and be mean to them????”

I decided that I should take the risk rather than spend the next 24 hours roaming the terminal until the VSO office opened. Turns out that they were very nice. They had stood in for the VSO lady who wasn’t feeling very well. I didn’t find this out until 20 minutes into the car journey though!

Anyways, they dropped me off at a very lovely guest house ( I have no idea where I am!). I’ve had a snooze and a couple of cups of peppermint tea and I’m thinking about going for a wander.

Finally I get round to it!!

2006-03-19T13:34:00.000Z

Hello lovelies,
Here is my first official posting on my unofficial blog (it was set up by my fan club).

This week has been fairly uneventful. Lots of office based work and striding around the golf course. I now have a walking buddy so we can gossip as we walk (much like our roller blading jaunts Meg, but less extreme).

My colleague took me to her home in one of the townships yesterday. It wasn't what I expected (although I'm not sure what that was!). It's not like the 80's Soweto that I had in my head. It was quite chilled and some of the homes were actually ok looking; others were basically shacks. We drove around with the car windows wound down and no one waved guns at us or anything!

We also went to the "Mall" which killed about half and hour. I guess it's about the same size as the Shires (that means not very big to non- Wiltshire people). The temperature was probably about 27c yesterday but the winter clothes were in the shops. I don't think it ever gets that cold anyway.

I went to church this morning which made me feel very home sick (strange as I only set foot in a church about 3 times a year). There was a lady minister and I guess she reminded me of Mum (even though she was short and black and didn't say much). Odd......

Have tried uploading some pic's again, but it's not working...sorry!

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2005-12-03T09:25:00.000Z

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